


Trying to save face, and daddy heart break I'm lying through my teeth

by finnjonesbaratheon



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Self-Discovery, Self-Hatred, Steve’s dad sucks, that’s basically it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 09:16:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20255743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finnjonesbaratheon/pseuds/finnjonesbaratheon
Summary: He liked girls—no, helovedgirls, and he loved Nancy. Hanging out with Billy so much had just put a whole bunch of fucked up notions in his head that spending more time with Nancy was bound to fix.





	Trying to save face, and daddy heart break I'm lying through my teeth

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this fic for a totally different fandom, but I’ve had it written for months now and I realized that I’m never going to actually post it in that fandom so I might as well make it a Steve/Billy fic. It only took a little bit of tweaking to make it work.
> 
> *throws this at y’all in the meantime while I work on And They Were Roommates*
> 
> Validate me with kudos and comments.

In retrospect, bringing Billy back to his house had been the stupidest decision he could've ever made. But, as they say, hindsight is 20/20, and Steve Harrington damn sure didn’t possess any foresight. He’d gotten caught up in the moment, however.

Talking to Billy everyday had become routine and, quickly, it felt like one of the most natural things he’d ever done in his entire life. Steve hadn't seen anything wrong with it—how could he? He and Billy were buddies. They'd met at school, with Billy inviting Steve and Nancy to every party he threw (using Tommy H’s place, of course, because Billy’s old man would’ve lost his shit if Billy threw a party at home), and had become fast friends. If there was ever a lesson that Steve couldn't fully grasp, or an assignment that he couldn't get quite right, Billy was there to lead the charge and show him how things should be done. Billy was wickedly smart and already light years ahead of Steve academically. The other boy had quickly become just as much a part of Steve and Steve’s life as Nancy had. Billy had managed to wrap himself around Steve’s life like an all-consuming blanket. Never ill-fitting, either—a safety blanket that’s always reliable, that's your go-to because you know it’ll keep you warm during times of bone-chilling winter as well as make you believe, even for an infinitesimal moment, that all's right with the world.

Nancy had thought it utterly adorable that Steve had gained a man-crush—that’s exactly what she’d called it: a _ man-crush—_and encouraged the entire thing. Steve wasn't known for letting many others get close to him. Many who knew him well would argue that he’d had a deep-seated complex, and he’d be a bit inclined to agree with them. Nancy’s approval had meant the world to him. It felt like he’d had two of the most important people in his life within an arm’s reach and nothing could take that away from him.

Until it did.

So, bringing Billy back to his house had been the stupidest decision he could've ever made. It was fair to say that this moment would easily be topped by any number of stupid ass things Steve was bound to do in the future, but the embarrassment of it—the fear of it—of someone else knowing that his man-crush had, somewhere along the way, blossomed into a _ crush_-crush, shook Steve to his very core and left him shaking uncontrollably in his bedroom, wondering how he managed to be such a colossal fuckup so damn often. He’d brought Billy back to his house, back to his _ room_, with the intention of going over some homework with the other boy that he couldn't quite get down. In Steve’s defense, he hadn’t been expecting for either of his parents to be home in the first place.

Billy was sitting on his bed, laughing wildly while Steve paced around his room, trying to get a grasp on an assignment that Billy had just explained for the fourth time.

“Dude, stop laughing!” Steve took off his shoe and threw it lazily at the other boy.

“You’re gonna put a hole through your fuckin’ floor if you don't relax,” Billy warned, dodging Steve’s shoe.

“Well, get your ass up and help me, then!”

Billy scrunched up his face, his long eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, then pretended to be in deep thought, as though considering Steve’s request was the most difficult thing he could've done.

Finally, he said, “Ok, but you have to come here first.”

Steve made a confused face and shook his head. “No,” he stated, firmly, sticking his hands in his pockets as a sign of defiance. His feet were planted firmly in their spot and he wasn't going to budge. “You come to me.”

“There’s no way in hell I’m getting up,” Billy stood his own ground.

“Well, looks like we’re both just not gonna move, then.”

Billy heaved a sigh, then hauled ass and pulled himself off of Steve’s bed. “You really gonna make me come over there, huh Harrington?”

“I’m not making you do anything, Hargrove,” came Steve’s cheeky response.

Steve smiled broadly. He loved knowing how to push Billy’s buttons. Their friendship had progressed to the point where they both knew each other’s little ticks and the more Steve thought about it, the more shocked he was that he’d managed to let somebody other than Nancy worm their way beneath his skin and settle in deep. How he’d managed to go through his daily activities prior to he and Billy’s friendship, he hadn't the faintest memory. But he was sure that Nancy was definitely involved.

Billy stalked over, one moment he was near the bed and the next he was right in front of Steve, face-to-face. Steve tried to laugh it off, but he became increasingly aware of just how close he and Billy were right now. If the other boy took one more step, they’d literally be in each other’s faces. His heart began to race and his hands got sweaty. He rationalized it as him just being really nervous about sharing this close of a space with someone, especially another dude. But if that were the case, then why wasn't he telling Billy to back off? Why was he letting the other boy encroach on his space so freely? Steve tried to speak up, tried to tell Billy to _ go away _ and _ stop acting gay—_really, he had—but his throat decided that that exact moment was the perfect time to go dry and close up. He rubbed his sweaty hands on his pant leg, but that did absolutely nothing to help because more sweat continued to pool at his palms.

“I know that you're with Nancy,” Billy spoke in a low, deep voice, jarring Steve back to the fact that they were really, _ really _ close now. “And I’ve been trying _ really _ fuckin’ hard to convince myself that I just see you as a friend. I’m not gay or anything!” Billy threw in the last bit more to himself than to Steve. “I just—fuck, Steve, I can't stop thinking about you. And I know that that definitely sounded super gay, but it's the truth.” Billy’s forehead touched Steve’s own, and it was evident that both boys were trying to get their breathing under control.

“Billy, I…” Steve started once his throat decided it wanted to work again, but then he stopped. He _ what_, exactly? He was with Nancy? They both knew that. He loved Nancy? Again, they both knew that. And yet that wasn’t changing what was currently happening. “I… I’m just r- _ really _ confused right now,” he finally settled on, though that didn't even really cover how he felt.

“It’s ok, I am too,” Billy agreed. “Just don't think about it too much.”

“And I have a girlfriend,” Steve reminded them both.

“I know…” Billy acknowledged softly, but his forehead stayed on Steve’s. Slowly, Billy brought his lips down on top of Steve’s. There was no movement of either boys’ lips at first, then Steve deepened the kiss by running his hands through Billy’s curly hair and pulling the other boy closer to him. What began as a tentative and confused experiment quickly turned passionate until it was all that Steve could feel. The rest of the world melted away, but he and Billy stood kissing and touching and exploring until it all filled all of Steve’s senses. It engulfed him like a flame, slowly licking at the far reaches of his soul until it had everything under its grip.

And that was when his father decided to barge into his bedroom, absolutely refusing to knock, just to ask him what he wanted for dinner that night.

Mr. Harrington stood stock still at the sight before him. Steve had already pushed Billy away with as much of his strength as he could muster (his arms and legs had both decided to turn to useless jelly all-too-quickly, and Billy had more muscle than he did), and he and his father both stood staring at each other with complete shock.

“Dad, for God’s sake! Try knocking next time!”

Mr. Harrington was still too stunned to say anything. Billy had quickly picked up his stuff and dashed out of the room, taking the stairs downstairs to the front door so that he could leave. He hadn’t even bothered to say good-bye to Steve before he’d high-tailed it. The sight of Steve’s dad conjured up thoughts of his own, and Billy knew all too well what happened to boys who kissed other boys.

“Uhhh…” Was all Mr. Harrington was able to get out, still at a loss for words. He couldn't believe he’d just witnessed what he’d witnessed. It was like he was having an out-of-body experience. Steve liked _ girls_, didn't he? He’d always been girl crazy since the moment he’d hit puberty (and even a little bit before that)—how, then, could he be kissing another boy? “I thought you liked girls,” Mr. Harrington finally spoke up, sounding disappointed.

“I _ do _ like girls,” Steve responded, still shaken up and becoming defensive. He sat on his bed, his face in his hands, trying to will his body to stop shaking. He shouldn't have brought Billy over, he’d decided. It was stupid. And he _ definitely _ shouldn't have allowed Billy to kiss him. Because that was how he was choosing to frame it. _ Billy _ had kissed _ him_. “Could you just get out? Thanks.”

“Steve, I’m trying to understand here—” Mr. Harrington began, only to be cut off by an irate Steve.

“There’s nothing to understand. I like girls. I’m straight. I’m completely straight. So please just get out.”

“Listen, Steve. I know that sometimes certain people can lead us astray, so if you ever wanna talk about this—”

_ Lead us astray_. Steve knew exactly what his father was thinking, and it took everything in him not to roll his eyes.

“There’s nothing to talk about, alright? I shouldn't have let Billy, y’know, _ do that_, but I’m one-hundred percent straight. So, again: _ leave_!”

“Alright,” the older man said, a bit relieved that they wouldn’t be having _ that _ conversation. “By the way, your mom wants to know what you want for dinner.”

“I really don't care either way. Just get out, thanks.” Steve’s tone was harsh, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He was trying to calm himself down and forget what had just happened.

Slowly, Mr. Harrington closed his son’s bedroom door and made his way back down the stairs to the kitchen. Steve let out a shaky breath and let frustrated hands run through his thick hair. He didn’t know what had come over him, but he knew for damn sure that he wouldn't let it happen again.

He liked girls—no, he _ loved _ girls, and he loved Nancy. Hanging out with Billy so much had just put a whole bunch of fucked up notions in his head that spending more time with Nancy was bound to fix.


End file.
